How to approach your most raw, vulnerable feelings
My partner and I came around a corner and nearly stepped on this baby rabbit —he was that close. Who can resist a baby rabbit? His fur looked so soft...but I held still, not wanting to scare him off. Our rabbit-human interaction reminded me what it's like to approach...
3 keys to setting boundaries
Boundary-setting is a skill I learned the hard way. By "boundary-setting," I mean the art of being honest with yourself and others about what you need and what you are and aren't willing to do. This is easier said than done: our sense of what we are and aren't...
My new boundary gurus: 4 baby skunks
When we bought our house, we didn't know it was a five-star groundhog resort, complete with deck refuge and salad bar—our garden. Overnight, my beloved partner became the long-suffering CEO of a groundhog relocation service. Last week he stepped out back to find the...
What 100 audition disappointments taught me about goals and spirituality
I worked incredibly hard over many years to win a principal oboe job. Ultimately, I failed at that goal. But along the way, the effort itself became a spiritual practice. In this 9-minute companion video to the article, Chronically dissatisfied with yourself? You may...
Chronically dissatisfied with yourself? You may be setting the wrong goals.
I can't deny I'm a perfectionist. But that word fails to evoke the painful lived experience: a nagging feeling that I should have known better, done better, done more. Whatever you call that mindset, it has a key symptom: a chronic sense of dissatisfaction with...
In a low mood? Tap the power of “wonder questions”
If you experience low moods like many sensitive people, you'll appreciate the way "wonder questions" can shift your state of mind right on the spot. And whatever mood you are in, wonder questions are an elegant, powerful tool to access your creativity. In this video...
Feeling stuck? These two words can free you up
There are times when I feel like this clam: clamped shut, closed for business, knee-deep in a field of tidal muck that stretches to the horizon. That's when I turn to my handy shortlist of self-excavation tools. It's amazing how much even a change of position can...
Three ways to be a quiet leader in a fearful world
I've been thoughtful lately about my responsibility as a citizen—a citizen who happens to be a sensitive person. Deep reflection is one of the attributes all sensitive people share. It manifests in a variety of ways: vivid dreams, a search for meaning in all areas of...
The HSP dilemma: all dressed up but feeling exposed
When I first laid eyes on this dress—one of forty haute couture ensembles from the 1960's to the 2000's, featured in the Ebony Fashion Fair exhibit—I laughed out loud at the sheer audacity of the design. Some of the looks were lavish, like the floor-length coat made...
The HSP paradox: you crave time alone, but you need company to soar
Flocks of Canada geese often pass honking over our neighborhood. They inspire me to think about effort and mutual support. Their V-shaped flight formation is a miracle of natural technology. Each goose takes a turn leading the formation. Each wingtip creates a vortex...