How to be in a relationship
without giving yourself up
Do you dread relationship conflict?
Many sensitive people find the emotional intensity of conflict overwhelming.Your heart rate shoots up and your mind spins out of control, imagining all the bad outcomes that could result if you speak up. But not speaking up leaves the conflict unresolved. And worse, it leaves you feeling resentful, which creates even more distance. Read more below to learn how skillful boundaries can empower you to respond effectively to conflicts, without giving yourself up or being “mean”.
Jill, a highly sensitive (HSP) client, came to see me and expressed pain about feeling misunderstood. "I'm just socially awkward," she said. "It seems like when I try to do something heartfelt, I end up being too nice, too friendly,...
This spectacular snow monster (spotted near here last month) looks like I feel when I don't set good boundaries. Long story short, I turn into a massive lump of frigid crankiness. I've got lots of company. Boundaries are tricky territory for most people,...
Flocks of Canada geese often pass honking over our neighborhood. They inspire me to think about effort and mutual support. Their V-shaped flight formation is a miracle of natural technology. Each goose takes a turn leading the formation. Each wingtip creates...
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Anxious or overwhelmed? The right kind of support can make all the difference
To climb a mountain, you have to skirt boulders, clamber over fallen trees, and wade across streams. For many of us who are built sensitive, life is like that mountain: eminently worth the effort, but littered with obstacles in the form of anxiety, overwhelm, and shame. Some of the time, we can find our way around, over, or through these emotional roadblocks using the resources we have at hand: a trusted friend, a journal, or some inner work.
But what if you get caught alone on the mountain—at night? In the pitch black, moving forward could mean getting lost. Or worse, you could fall off a cliff. In the same way, intense overwhelm, anxiety, or shame can send you into survival mode. You feel emotionally alone, afraid to move for fear of falling into the pain and losing yourself in it.
It’s hard to get out of this frozen state on your own. You need support. And you need the right kind of support, from someone who knows the terrain of sensitive anxiety. In One-to-One Sessions, Emily guides you around the obstacles of anxiety and shame, back to connection with yourself and your spiritual intuition. Then you can see your right way forward.
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