How do you handle an emotional shock?

How do you handle an emotional shock?

Most of us have our ways of recovering from every-day relationship “bumps”….but how do you handle an emotional shock? Talking yourself out of it unfortunately doesn’t work, as I was reminded last week. One night not long ago I walked full-force into a wall. I... Read more
6 relationship benefits of deliberate forgetting

6 relationship benefits of deliberate forgetting

In our closest relationships, attentiveness and memory are key…but forgetting has benefits too. The venerable Alexander Pope rightfully declared that “To err is human; to forgive, divine.”So I hope he’ll forgive me for offering you my own version of his famous... Read more
“Being inside my body is so difficult”

“Being inside my body is so difficult”

Silvia wrote me to say, “Being inside my body is so difficult.” She wondered if Focusing might help. Yes. Focusing can help a lot—by shifting the inner relationship between our ill body and our inner parts that (understandably) hate feeling sickness or pain.  Thanks... Read more
“I can only relax when I’m alone”

“I can only relax when I’m alone”

Have you ever heard yourself say, “I can only relax when I’m alone”? Sensitive people are keenly attuned to people around us, and for some of us this attunement can morph into exhausting vigilance. Read on to understand how this pattern develops and... Read more
Taming the Inner Critic

Taming the Inner Critic

What do we mean by “taming the Inner Critic”? Impossible as it may sound, the only way to transform a Critic is to develop a relationship with it. The Critic needs your respect and trust before it will give up its role.  In my favorite cook book, Quick... Read more
Do you “think too much?”

Do you “think too much?”

What does it mean to be “in your head too much”? When we drop judgments and simply see our thoughts as messengers, we can learn to manage them.  Shakespeare was my father’s first great love (my mother being his second). Our family took in plays whenever we could, and... Read more
6 principles to create a sustainable sensitive life

6 principles to create a sustainable sensitive life

Are you having trouble managing work? This is a crucial, complex project for those of us who are built sensitive—and a never-ending one. My friend Cynthia eloquently described this sustainability challenge in an email she wrote to me:  “Now that I understand I’m... Read more
3 ways to recognize shame

3 ways to recognize shame

Once you know how to recognize shame in all its forms, you can begin to heal this most toxic of emotions. When you feel shame, you think you feel awful because you deserve to feel awful. in other words, the shame feels like an inevitable and unavoidable consequence of... Read more