HSPs may be too nice to bite. But we can hiss.

Apr 5, 2022 | 9 comments

Can you be too nice? Yes. In an effort to be nice, HSPs can stop being honest with ourselves and others. This creates trouble in our relationships.  In a recent session, I shared with my spiritual director a challenging situation I was struggling to deal with. In... Read more

The gift of anger

Dec 15, 2020 | 4 comments

What do I mean by “the gift of anger?” Isn’t anger something to be avoided, or better yet, transcended? Maybe, but I can’t seem to avoid getting angry, and I suspect transcendence will take me several lifetimes. In the meantime, though, I have a powerful option. I can... Read more

To head off conflict, acknowledge your point of view

Nov 17, 2020 | 6 comments

Even when a conflict seems insurmountable, a powerful action is always open to you: you can acknowledge your point of view. Then you enter a different world, one in which respectful disagreement is possible and people sometimes, miraculously, change their minds.  We... Read more

Do you back down to avoid conflict?

Jan 21, 2020 | 2 comments

Many sensitive people back down to avoid conflict, fearing the intense overarousal conflict can cause. But avoiding conflict takes its own toll on you and your relationships. Is there a better way?  Elaine Aron says overarousal is the biggest relationship challenge... Read more

6 relationship benefits of deliberate forgetting

Nov 19, 2019 | 2 comments

In our closest relationships, attentiveness and memory are key…but forgetting has benefits too. The venerable Alexander Pope rightfully declared that “To err is human; to forgive, divine.”So I hope he’ll forgive me for offering you my own version of his famous... Read more