Do you back down to avoid conflict?

Do you back down to avoid conflict?

Many sensitive people back down to avoid conflict, fearing the intense overarousal conflict can cause. But avoiding conflict takes its own toll on you and your relationships. Is there a better way?  Elaine Aron says overarousal is the biggest relationship challenge... Read more
6 relationship benefits of deliberate forgetting

6 relationship benefits of deliberate forgetting

In our closest relationships, attentiveness and memory are key…but forgetting has benefits too. The venerable Alexander Pope rightfully declared that “To err is human; to forgive, divine.”So I hope he’ll forgive me for offering you my own version of his famous... Read more
“I can only relax when I’m alone”

“I can only relax when I’m alone”

Have you ever heard yourself say, “I can only relax when I’m alone”? Sensitive people are keenly attuned to people around us, and for some of us this attunement can morph into exhausting vigilance. Read on to understand how this pattern develops and... Read more
Do you find conflict overwhelming?

Do you find conflict overwhelming?

Many sensitive people find conflict overwhelming. And we can find it particularly daunting to fight with the person to whom we usually turn for comfort and understanding. To keep our relationships healthy, we need ways to keep overarousal at bay—even when the going... Read more
“I’m socially awkward…”

“I’m socially awkward…”

Jill, a highly sensitive (HSP) client, came to see me and expressed pain about feeling misunderstood.  “I’m just socially awkward,” she said. “It seems like when I try to do something heartfelt, I end up being too nice, too friendly, or too... Read more
Tips for talking about tough subjects

Tips for talking about tough subjects

Dealing with conflict can be a big challenge for sensitive people.  We can be like the aptly named sensitive fern (onoclea sensibilis, pictured in the photo): when things get frosty, we want to shrivel up and die. How do you bring up at touchy topic with a family... Read more