Do you have vivid dreams? Most highly sensitive people do…and our dreams are a powerful resource of wisdom and insight.
Years ago, in graduate school, I had a nightmare in which someone I knew and loved turned on me and tried to kill me. I woke up terrified. After half a dozen of these disturbing dreams—each featuring a different “murderer, always someone I knew well in “real life”—I realized I needed help. I began seeing a counselor at the student health center.
I didn’t fully understand these dreams for a long time, and I didn’t know until later that vivid dreams are a hallmark of high sensitivity. But I did get one thing loud and clear: an important message was struggling to get through.
In order to understand that message, I made a commitment to learn the language of my dreams. Over a period of years, I recorded and pondered dozens of dreams. I marveled at their creativity, and their specificity. I discovered my “dream director” has a wicked sense of humor. She stoops to groaner puns. She loves vivid metaphors. And if I ignore her, she will send a nightmare to get my attention.
But she never, ever wastes my time. Some people assert that dreams are simply the recycled garbage of the unconscious mind. My dream journals offer overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Even dreams that appear fragmented, trivial, or irrelevant on the surface contain useful insights once I unpack them.
Do you understand the language of your dreams? If you are a vivid dreamer, like most HSPs, but don’t know how to tap this source of wisdom, I strongly encourage you to learn more. This article will give you a solid start.
7 steps I follow to tap the wisdom of my dreams
- I keep a dedicated dream journal by my bed.
- Within a few minutes of waking up, I write down my dreams. I capture both the details and the overall feeling, and I note the context. If I can, I analyze the dreams right away. Otherwise I schedule time later that day to ponder them.
- I pull out and list the key words, symbols, people, actions, and events in the dream. With each symbol, I ask, “What significance does this symbol have for me personally, at this time?” Then I look up the symbol in my dream book to see if the book’s definition resonates or adds depth or clarity.
- I summarize the meaning of the dream and identify the theme. The theme becomes the title. (I make the titles large, using bright highlighter pens in varying colors: this way I can easily skim the book and see patterns over time.)\
- I ask myself, “Is there action I need to take, given what this dream is showing me?” Sometimes, if I don’t fully understand the dream, my next action is to ask for another clarifying dream.
- I take the action, if one is called for.
- If more questions arise, I write them down in my dream journal the next night, before I go to sleep.
To show this process in action, I’ll tell you about three dreams I had during a two-week period when my stress level was through the roof. As you’ll see, my dream director got my attention with a nightmare, before settling back into her more typical vivid metaphors and visual puns.
With each dream, I followed the seven steps above. Here are the results of that process of interpretation, which unfolded over two weeks. (Note: The symbols sound very clear written down like this. They weren’t, at first. I had to sit with each one, look it up, and sense for resonance with the different shades of meaning each symbol could have.)
Dream #1: Off the road at 80 miles per hour
Dream #1 description: I’m driving on a highway, going 80 miles an hour. The road curves. I lose control and drive off a cliff.
Context: I’m finalizing registration and new materials for a new weekly Focusing class, scheduled to start in two weeks; I’ve committed to create a 1500-word article each week for eight weeks for an online course for a big healing website; I’m writing a weekly article for this newsletter; and I’m working with clients as usual.
Key symbols: The car is mine, indicating my own body: I’m driving it hard. Going off the road indicates a pace that feels out of control to me. “80 miles an hour” is an expression I’ve always used to indicate an overwhelming pace: it reinforces the “out of control” message.
Summary and analysis: It’s true, I am feeling very stressed trying simultaneously to do all these projects at once. I’m driving myself dangerously hard. I feel out of control.
Action: I will try to cut back over the coming days.
Dream #2: Distracted meeting at the co-op grocery
After Dream #1, I struggled to follow through on my commitment to cut back. Everything I was doing seemed important. My stress level remained extremely high. So I asked for more guidance and got Dream #2.
Dream #2 description: I’m sitting in a meeting for my co-op grocery. I haven’t done what I was supposed to do to prepare for the meeting, and I’m struggling to focus on the meeting because there is a concert going on right outside the door. The performers are a trio: two women and a man so tiny that he has to set his violin on the floor on its side and reach up to turn the pegs. In the meeting, I’m upset to realize I am wearing a bright red watch that is not mine. I’m afraid the owner will think I have stolen it.
Context: Same as Dream #1
Key symbols: The co-op meeting represents a venture requiring many people to cooperate. The color red symbolizes doing and taking action. A red watch that is not mine seems to indicate the time is not right for something I’m doing. I’m not sure what that something is. The concert symbolizes some kind of harmony, in a performance that is happening; I’m not sure what it, or the very small violinist, represents.
Summary and analysis: I’m not sure what the two conflicting things are, but I get that I feel conflicted between two things (the meeting and the concert), and that the timing is wrong in some way. I don’t get the full significance of the trio or the small violinist.
Action: I will ask my dream director for more answers. Where is the conflict? What is the trio about? What does the violinist symbolize?
Dream #3: Puzzle in a plastic box
Dream #3 description: I’m starting my first class at a college located in a house. I’m trying to figure out an intricate puzzle and have to take it out of its clear plastic box to be able to manipulate it properly. I can’t find my phone anywhere.
Context: Same as Dream #1
Key symbols: The house represents my consciousness or mind state. College symbolizes an issue of higher-level meaning or understanding. The intricate puzzle is my dilemma about all these projects, and the box symbolizes some kind of thinking that is boxing me in. The phone holds messages, but I can’t hear them because I can’t find it.
Summary and analysis: Putting this together with the earlier dreams, I realize I’ve been telling myself I can and must do all these projects at once while prioritizing the creation of the online course. But I see this belief is boxing me in, stopping me from “getting the message” about cutting back. Parts of the co-op grocery dream that weren’t clear before are now fitting into the picture:
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- The online course (created for another company) is part of a complex plan which would require a major investment of time on my part and the cooperation of many people to succeed….and all that for an uncertain return.
- I can’t find time to do the work for it and I am really stressed about that
- The work for that course has to happen on someone else’s timeline, and that timing is wrong for me
- I am already performance-ready with the Focusing class I’m about to teach
- I’m “thinking too small” about that (the tiny violinist!)
- Instead of seeing the Focusing class as a distraction, I need to focus on it and to “think bigger” about that opportunity
Action: I will contact the course development specialist at the healing website and postpone creation of the course for them until a year from now…or perhaps indefinitely.
“Getting the message” = relief from stress
These dreams were instructional, showing me the limitations of a certain viewpoint. After the third one, I finally “got the message.” I accepted I simply couldn’t do all these projects at once. I wrote to the online course creation director that day, and withdrew from the project. My stress level dropped instantly. I’ve experienced this shift many times after sitting with my dreams.
Some dreams, though, are purely spiritual. I had one of those a few days ago. During a walk earlier that day, I found myself weeping. I missed $my dad. I was struggling to take in the reality that his physical body was gone. That night I had a dream:
I’m in the kitchen of the house I grew up in. I’m in a state of wonder and amazement because my dad is standing, walking around, straight and tall. We go outside. The sun is shining and the sky is a deep, bright blue. We stand together and gaze at a beautiful emerald green field of grass that stretches as far as the eye can see.
The bright colors, the vividness, and the sense of peace identified this as a spiritual dream. I awoke feeling comforted, knowing that while my dad’s frail body is gone, the essence of him is whole, strong, and at peace.
Only later did I remember the card taped to our refrigerator. It’s a painting of a green field and a blue sky, with a quotation from the poet Rumi:
Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field. I’ll meet you there.
What could be more reassuring and comforting than to imagine my dad in that field? I bow in gratitude to my “dream director.”
Photo: © 2023 Emily Agnew
Note: this article originally appeared on November 14, 2016. It has been edited and updated\
Note: The photo of my dad’s hand featured in the March 7 newsletter was actually taken by my sister Elizabeth. Thank you Lib!
Do you have the new version of the Tanner book?
Do dreams always warn? Do they ever celebrate, encourage? Last night I dreamed I needed a brain transplant & I was so worried I would wake up and no longer be me. I still feel the fear and sadness.
Great post. Thank you!
Hi Sally, is there a new version?–couldn’t tell that on Amazon….the cover looks exactly the same as mine on all the ones they have. But I’d be curious what’s different if there is a new one…Wilda died in 2000.
I can’t believe I omitted to mention how uplifting dreams can be…yes, they can and often are celebratory, inspiring or encouraging. Thanks for calling that giant gap to my attention! I will write another post about that.
Your brain is the thinking part of you…perhaps there is some way in which you feel like your thinking or attitude (perhaps on some issue that is up for you right now?) needs such an overhaul that you are afraid you won’t even know yourself…if I awaken scared or sad from a dream, I find it comforting to remember that scary or sad dreams are nearly always showing me the point of view of a part of me. Then I try to understand what that part is scared or sad about. Wilda Tanner does suggest that if you have a dream about an illness or your brakes failing or something, that you check in to see if the dream might be a literal warning. But for you…have you perhaps been doing a spiritual practice that is causing your consciousness to shift and expand?–I could imagine some part of you getting scared that “you” would not be the same “you”. Just curious:)
I’ve only recently gotten fascinated with dreams and all the various ways to use them. Most recently I’ve attended a couple of classes with Dr. Leslie Ellis who works with combining Focusing with dreams. I’m curious enough now to start a dream journal. As an HSP I’ve always had vivid dreams. Thanks for this post, especially your personal dreams.
You are welcome Mary! Thank you for mentioning the resource of Dr. Ellis’s classes. Yes, your dreams can be an incredible resource of information, comfort, and reassurance.
Hi Emily,
Thank you for this interesting post. What book do you use to help interpret the dreams and their symbols? I’ve given up trying to understand what my “whacky” dreams mean. I’ll give your approach a try. I like the concept of Dream Director 🙂 Last night I had a vivid dream and wrote it down first thing this morning – after overcoming some resistance “oh, not this stuff again! we never understand the meaning!” As I wrote it down, still laying in bed, my pelvis and thighs just ached. Does your dreamwork also take bodily sensations into account?
HI Jackie, I have an old book I’ve had for years by Wilda Tanner, called The Mystical, Magical, Marvelous World of Dreams. There are a few things in in that aren’t PC by our current standards but as a dream interpretation support aid, I’ve found it incredibly useful…it goes way beyond just looking up symbols and gives you a holistic understanding of the role of dreams, different kinds of dreams, how to recognize your own dream patterns, etc. It’s out of print but copies are around.
Yes, you can include bodily sensations when you write down the dream….in your case, you could look up the significance of the body areas that were aching, and see how that fits in to the dream. And you can “talk to” your thighs and pelvis and see if they have anything to say to you (it can be surprising.)
Thank you, Emily. An interesting point to “talk with” the aching body parts and listen if they have anything to say. I’ll try it!
It would be interesting if anyone has ever done a study on dreams and those who have been clinically diagnosed with depression (and add in being HSP!). I know that is a specific combination…but as per Dr. Aron, if an HSP wasn’t nurtured as HSP child or had a traumatic childhood, the potential for depression as an adult is high.
Anyways, I, for the most part, have not enjoyed my dreams. The happy ones are too happy for me to tolerate because they are happier than my actual life experiences. The sad ones are too sad and the emotions can stay with me right through the next day. Obviously the ones that startle me can have me awake for hours until I calm down. Once in a while I remember a nice dream.
I recently read the book My Stroke of Insight by Jill Bolte Taylor, a neuroscientist. I would say a must read for all HSPs. She had a stroke and the left hemisphere of her brain went offline, as she puts it, until she had surgery. She was left with the functioning parts of her right hemisphere. The almost transcendental thinking part of her right hemisphere and the blissful emotional part of her right hemisphere. I mention this because I wonder where in the 4 quadrants of our brains do dreams originate?
Suzanne, I can’t speak to brain neurology. What I’d say about dreams is to be with the reaction to the dream. If you wake from a happy dream and something in you feels sad or upset that it feels so different from your waking life, you can turn towards that place in you and sit with it with compassion, and the same with upsetting dreams.