Dealing with conflict can be a big challenge for sensitive people We can be like the aptly named sensitive fern (onoclea sensibilis, pictured in the photo): when things get frosty, we want to shrivel up and die. How do you bring up at touchy topic with a family member, friend, or colleague? And how do you handle it if you, or they, get upset?

When we met 17 years ago, my partner Duke and I had only two conflict-handling tactics as a couple: “blurt it out” or “bury it.” This made for a very rough ride! We’ve had to work hard to develop better skills. In this 15-minute video we share how we bring up tough subjects. We talk about how each of us knows we are getting triggered, and what to do when that happens (if you want to get better at  recognizing when you are triggered, take a look at this trauma graphic.) And we explore the importance of “meta-talks”—talks about your talks. 

Thank you Duke for doing this with me. And thanks to all of you for letting me share with you and, I hope, support you. It is deeply meaningful to me.