3 keys to setting boundaries
Boundary-setting is a skill I learned the hard way. By “boundary-setting,” I mean the art of being honest with yourself and others about what you need and what you are and aren’t willing to do. This is easier said than done: our sense of what we are... Read more
My new boundary gurus: 4 baby skunks
When we bought our house, we didn’t know it was a five-star groundhog resort, complete with deck refuge and salad bar—our garden. Overnight, my beloved partner became the long-suffering CEO of a groundhog relocation service. Last week he stepped out back to... Read more
What 100 audition disappointments taught me about goals and spirituality
I worked incredibly hard over many years to win a principal oboe job. Ultimately, I failed at that goal. But along the way, the effort itself became a spiritual practice. In this 9-minute companion video to the article, Chronically dissatisfied with yourself? You may... Read more
Chronically dissatisfied with yourself? You may be setting the wrong goals.
I can’t deny I’m a perfectionist. But that word fails to evoke the painful lived experience: a nagging feeling that I should have known better, done better, done more. Whatever you call that mindset, it has a key symptom: a chronic sense of dissatisfaction... Read more
In a low mood? Tap the power of “wonder questions”
If you experience low moods like many sensitive people, you’ll appreciate the way “wonder questions” can shift your state of mind right on the spot. And whatever mood you are in, wonder questions are an elegant, powerful tool to access your... Read more
Feeling stuck? These two words can free you up
There are times when I feel like this clam: clamped shut, closed for business, knee-deep in a field of tidal muck that stretches to the horizon. That’s when I turn to my handy shortlist of self-excavation tools. It’s amazing how much even a change of... Read more
Three ways to be a quiet leader in a fearful world
I’ve been thoughtful lately about my responsibility as a citizen—a citizen who happens to be a sensitive person. Deep reflection is one of the attributes all sensitive people share. It manifests in a variety of ways: vivid dreams, a search for meaning in all... Read more
The HSP dilemma: all dressed up but feeling exposed
When I first laid eyes on this dress—one of forty haute couture ensembles from the 1960’s to the 2000’s, featured in the Ebony Fashion Fair exhibit—I laughed out loud at the sheer audacity of the design. Some of the looks were lavish, like the floor-length... Read more
The HSP paradox: you crave time alone, but you need company to soar
Flocks of Canada geese often pass honking over our neighborhood. They inspire me to think about effort and mutual support. Their V-shaped flight formation is a miracle of natural technology. Each goose takes a turn leading the formation. Each wingtip creates a vortex... Read moreGet your FREE guide to sensitive anxiety
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